Golden Days but at a cost?

George Best in Los Angeles

Los Angeles Airport - Like landing on another planet

Years 16 -21

What a truly magnificent period this was in my life. I left school, more with relish than regret. To be fair, I probably did better at school than I was deserving of. Artistic tendancies were my natural gift, along obviously with sport. Decision time then for me, whether to follow creative or active personal progression.

In the end, I opted for a Graphic Design Course, at Glasgow School of Art, which quickly proved a distraction, for my love and burgeoning success in badminton. I had reached junior international status, taking part in the European Junior Championships in Mulheim Germany which, kicked in a period of total sacrifice and devotion to competitiveness and WINNING!!! Without knowing it at the time, I never got to find out about myself, especially where members of the opposite sex, were concerned!!! No parties, no discos or nightclubs. Just training and competing. Think this aspect to my sporting/ personal development, will feature in it's own designated post.

That said, I did meet my first romantic acquaintance at 16, Susan Bell, who had legs to die for but, a personality akin to that of dried cardboard!!! Lets just say, not an ideal introduction to all things romantic.

I lost my virginity, on a night sleeper train, en route back from a competition in London. Susan made sure, this was a totally forgettable negative experience, from her perspective. Susan was too good at flouncing off with other boys, which I think did lasting damage to my understanding of boyfriend/ girlfriend workings ie accepting too easily, treatment others would find terminal. She had no issue at all, "playing the field" behind my back. I was too "green" to act decisively, which, was a pretty stupid trait on my part.

Meanwhile, back at home, Alan would have seen his father, starting to place quality preferential time, to myself, taking me all over Scotland, to tournaments. When I think back, this must have been exceptionally difficult for him ie considering he would have been going through the mill, being bullied. Of course I just did what I did, with youthful abandon, why shouldn't I have done, no-one knew of Alan's issues and, dad wen't out of his way, proud I guess, that one of his son's was emerging within a field, that matched his sporting aspirations ie albeit never competitive on his part.

18 was massive for me, receiving my first full, international cap, against Holland, a match which was expected to end tightly, either way. In the end we (the team) produced what was, one of the best collective performances, ever by a Scottish side, beating our opponents 9-0 in their own, home territory. An euphoric experience which, I will never forget.

Life had taken on a sense of direction and purpose, albeit, badminton was never going to pay the bills ie housekeeping monies, for my dear parents. Graphic design interest, ended in less than 12 months, I then moved on into the Civil Service, as a Clerical Assistant. Very much entry level, but this job, offered me "unlimited" time off (with pay), when badminton called!!! Badminton did do regularly too, so my sporting activity masked the fact, that my "day job" was never going to be anything other than a tedious stop gap. Brutally tedious in fact!!!

I was starting to open my eyes in life. One such experience came, during a brilliant trip to visit a couple from Los Angeles, who came over as part of the U.S Badminton Team. During our match, they invited me over to spend time with them, which I duly did, the following summer, flying Laker Airways from Prestwick Airport, to Los Angeles, which, at 18 years of age, seemed massive for me. When I got there we were taken across L.A in their soft top MG, I literally thought I had landed on the moon!!! In total shock, I was agog with shock and awe, palm trees everywhere and just taking in some amazing sites. This was to be a trip, of course, I would never forget, but also one, where I would experience, grief, for the first time, on my return.

My most vivid memories of my trip, were Gary & Diane's nuclear bomb shelter, in their back garden, which was had dual purpose, doubling up as an underground marijuana factory of sorts!!! I was offered some, but inhalation of any form of smoke, to my honed lungs (at that point!!), was and never has been, acceptable to me. I even saw Diane's cocaine lines, ready for consumption, one particular morning, these guys were obviously fond of substance abuse. A trip North up the coastal road, some few hundred miles, to San Francisco, then Sacramento (where I won a tournament) then onto beautiful Lake Tahoe, where I blew several hundred dollars, at a Casino.

Drunken escapades were not that numerous at this particular age (18), but it was one starry night (I knew it was starry as I ended up in the back of a pick up truck, totally bladdered, staring up at the skies, which came rushing forward to me!!!!) Gary and Diane took me to a place, near their home in Redondo Beach, called "Besties", yes, this was George Best's pub (the famous footballer). I was fed copious quantities of a drink, I have never had since!!! I returned home, coating Gary's garden with a personal internal nutrient ie I spewed lots!!!!

I was to find out on my return to Scotland, that it was this night, when my beloved grandfather, passed away. Back in Scotland, it was decided not to call me whilst out on holiday. I will never forget being picked up from Prestwick Airport and being told of his death, Alan staring out of his window and mum and dad, struggling to tell me.

The thought of enjoying myself, at a time, when my grandfather was on his death bed, sickened me, yes, I was hurt and debated family rationale behind keeping news from me, at distance.

Grandpa's death seemed so wrong, given my life was so positive at this stage, adrenaline of competitive sport, sexual hormones of youth and enjoying life in general. PERHAPS, more of my time should have been made, on my part, back toward my brother, easy to say though, with the benefit of hindsight. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind, MY outside interests, versus Alan's introverted acceptance of his bullying, both played a significant part in what was and is, significant family dysfunction, unfortunately ie particularly with the consequences of bullying and his battle with long term illness.

Blind passion toward my sport, I didn't care on iota, about the caliber of my employ, in this respect I wasn't planning for the future, which, was risky..

Looking back however, much had to change in me, before I could call myself "street savvy" even up until I was 28, I was pretty shy, overly loyal and too trusting. My eggs in too few baskets!!!

groomed for life?

Sir John Pritchard

Years 10-15

A jovial smirk returns to my face, when I recall, mum and dad's attempts, to instill interest within me, toward a musical and religious regime. As with any rebelious young male, any such activity introduced (or as I thought, forced!!), was relatively quickly, detested!!! Weekly attendance at Sunday School and post school Friday piano lessons (to a pretty decent level), didn't fit with my active Gemini persona.

Important to point out at this stage, my father was and still is (at the ripe old age of 86), a passionate sportsman. His secret underlying hope for me, was to become a tennis player. I remember playing on the lawns at Devonshire Park Eastbourne, his eyes lighting up, when Lew Hoad, ex-professional of note, spotted us playing and came over to remark on my double handed technique!!! Perhaps Scottish perception toward the game, generic weather conditions and facilities available, at that period in time, failed to inspire me into taking up a more competitive, active interest.

Our family existence at this point, was tight, collective and functional. Alan and I were developing more of a brotherly rivalry, rather than bond I would say. My ultra competitive nature would dominate, across a spectrum of youthful activities. That said, we still thoroughly enjoyed our annual family trips south, after being introduced to our famous uncle, Sir John Pritchard, who was a globally renowned orchestral conductor. Alan and I "lived the dream" at his incredible mansion, in the Sussex countryside, over several Summers. Vast expanses of lawn to play on, a tennis court for dad to show off in and, an outdoor swimming pool, for all of us to create memories within!!! Superb memories. Visits here however, were tinged with an element of dread. Normal practice would result in requests from my uncle, to run through my repertoire on his Steinway piano. Rather daunting for 12 year old young man.

Continued evidence of our difference in interest, Alan seemed far more settled at school (based on his focus and results, I was so wrong to take this for granted however), I, found school a necessary evil, finding it a drain on my hyperactive mind and patience. In no way was I lacking in intellect, my style was more geared toward, interacting with fellow classmates and, being accepted. In keeping with traditional family heritage, both Alan and I found a talent for artistic tendencies, my grandfather blueprinted and draughted World War 1 plane designs. I was the son, who took part in three legged, egg & spoon, relay and sack races, during school sports days, Alan would have never considered this.

Comparing today's politically correct, educational practices, to my own experiences, over the period of 1971-76, I am passionately of the opinion, that it was of major benefit to us, that respect for tutors, was created, through a sense of fear. Recollections of 2 teachers in particular, Mr Lehman and Mr Graham, both history teachers, were both famous for their aggressive, forceful mode of education. Of course, corporal punishment (which was still practised then) was a successful deterrent too, yours truly on the receiving end of red hands, struck with apparent relish, by an assortment of teachers. I was not trouble maker though.

Perhaps when it came to official exams ie called O levels in Scotland, I was slightly unlucky, contracting chickenpox, amidst exams. To be fair, this episode, probably summed up my high school career. Infectious, but not serious enough to become committed!!!

Meanwhile, I was developing a passion for sport, a combination of football, played mainly at our local church youth club, then sneaking upstairs on a Saturday night, to play with adults at the badminton Club. I had taken to the game, in a big way, starting off at the age of 12, competing in Glasgow youth and church matches/ competitions. In addition, I was taken under the wing of a Coach called Bill McIroy, who had a number of aspiring kids in his stable. I improved and progressed quickly, drilling my technique. A combination of this and my determination to succeed, took me to the Scottish Schools Championship, in Perth, which is a very fond memory. Dad drove me North, stopping in for a brief moment, to take in scenic climbs. A complete fledgling in terms of the overall tournament entry, I and my partner came from nowhere, to win, beating established school Internationals en route. A complete shock, I was a new kid on the block, guess I had nothing to fear and my competitive instinct carried me through.

Now I was fully focused and active in an event that captured and inspired my brain. This was the start of life as I knew it then, badminton became my passion. Little did I know (I found out, some 30 years later) that my brother, had been enduring, protracted and sustained bullying, whilst we were both at school. As we rarely saw each other during school hours, shared little interest too, I was totally unaware of this fact. Alan was a chubby at best, going into puberty, this being and easy topic for his tormentors. Then, when he grew, abuse continued. His physical metamorphosis, staggering, going from a rounded kid, to a lanky youth. I was to learn, that he himself, was totally disgusted in one specific aspect of his appearance, which contributed to what has been, severe and sustained mental trauma for him, for over 35 years!!!!. I now realise, just how devastating, bullying can be. My brother, will feature in a devoted Blog segment of his own, but, if I mention, he left home 30 years ago and, has not been back since, spending years, in and out of priories, as a result of symptoms associated with eating disorders. Such was his disgust in his appearance, he has been diagnosed with BDD, better known as Body Dysmorphic Disorder.

Call them "old school", mum and dad, didn't handle Alan's problems well. Granted there was an element of him keeping quiet throughout. From my side, I was completely unaware, following my developing sporting passion, rarely in at nights, training and playing away. I wish I had made more time, knowing what I know now.

What lies beneath!!!!

Location? St Andrews, a superb, enclosed coastal aspect, to be found below an ancient castle, which is fondly known as"the step rock pool". Earliest family holiday memories of my brother and I, wolfing down breakfast, so we could rush along here, to swim. Although tranquil in it's appearance, a wide variety of aquatic life could be found, either within our previously mentioned sandals, or, even worse, crawling around our speedos!!!! A very important location for our family experience. Happy days!!!

Dumgoyne by name and nature!!!

Life can be best described for me (thus far), in sporting terms, AS A GAME OF TWO HALVES!!!! A large percentage of them spent, at my parent's house, in Glasgow (pictured above).

Comprehensive details, will follow of my principles, upbringing and experiences, important however, to detail from the outset, regrets are not part of my reflective, deep thinking psyche. My principle aim of my Blog, is to detail, why I believe I am qualified to tackle/discuss, topics mentioned and highlighted in my introduction. I am not intending to create some form of biographical dossier of a life well lived, more so, a precis of important phases and moments experienced, which can be of use to others.

Years 0-10

The first 10 years of my life, were spent at home in Glasgow, enjoying a superbly traditional Scottish upbringing ie warm, communicative, courteous, religiously balanced and informative. My first memories being, of family holidays, to the South Coast of England and, regular trips, at weekends, to easily accessible countryside locations, within a couple of hours of our family home.

Memories of weekly Sunday meals with both sets of grandparents too, my grandfather on my mother's side, a devout Elder of his local parish church, so conversations, rightly on wrongly on his part, revolved around Glasgow life, then identifying whether persons within these stories, were Protestant, Catholic or Jewish in their religious beliefs!!! Did it really matter!!!!! Naturally, growing up as child in Glasgow, can bring particular religious challenges, an accepted way of finding out one's religion, by asking what particular school a boy or girl attended ie which then determined whether the individual concerned, wen't to a solely Protestant or Catholic school. Very sad..... West of Scotland bigotry is well documented, perhaps my grandfather (innocent though he was) was a typical example of how, habitual, ingrained behaviour, can affect generational open mindedness. There is so much work to do still back home by the Scottish Government.

Fond memories, by comparison, to today's breakdown of general community values and, wider family interaction. One particular Easter Sunday, I recall our piano having in excess of 18 large Easter eggs, crammed on display, given, by aunts, uncles and close relatives!!!! Of course demographics and natural wasteage, impacted on that piano, over my teenage years!!!! Facts are though, without doubt, there is also a general breakdown in core family inclination, where generosity and warmth are concerned, especially so, here in the UK.

First ten years, looking back, I classify as setting the scene. Mum and dad, exemplary in their parental execution. Certainly, absolutely no indication at this stage, that teenage years, would prove totally euphoric for yours truly, but testing and ultimately life changing, for my dear younger brother.

Very complex to look back on those early years, our family Summer holidays were, bright shining lights in our life. Vivid images in my mind of laughter, sun tan lotion being rubbed whether you liked it or not, along with collective bond, which, sad to say, that started to erode in teenage years, through a combination of circumstance and diversity of interest.

Ayr, Oban, St Andrews and Eastbourne in particular, places that offered our happiest moments. Important to mention though, comical traumatic orders, given to us, by mum, ordered to wear those horrendous brown plastic sandals (to protect our feet), during summer holidays, which were like walking in wheel clamps!!! Despite claiming to be of benefit to bathers, all they did, was offer a toe section, that looked like a lobster pot ie so small crabs readily found themselves, located at the forefront of your footwear, looking for safe haven!!!!

One thing for sure, during those younger innocent years, I, as the older brother, was far more competitive and active, than my brother Alan. Knowing what I know now, I think this aspect might have been the start of his personal, long standing battle with self esteem and appearance.

Introducing

Hello and welcome to my Blog

My name is David, otherwise, for the purposes of this Blog, known as Dumgoyne, it's a pleasure to meet you!!!!! Hoping very much that this space, will be of use, to a cross section of users.

Why the name Dumgoyne? Well, firstly, Dumgoyne, is an ancient extinct volcano, located close to the Scottish city of Glasgow. This landmark, is unique in it's appearance, also inspirational, but a relatively unknown, humble feature. Dumgoyne's dormant state, reflects so much, how life has been lived on my part, for the last 20 years.

With this in mind, my Blog will introduce, a living breathing diary of challenges experienced, lessons learnt, conclusions and, hopefully, advice/ support I can offer to others, suffering similar or, just keen for simple motivational guidance.

Topics which will feature within my space, are diverse, ranging across, sport, sales careers (at a senior level), mentoring, health, crime, political views, mental health, self sacrifice and one major element, pharmaceutical negligence. Suppose then, I look at myself as an eclectic, highly experienced person, within this portfolio of discussion points. Surviving a life in limbo? It will become all too clear, why my blog carries this title. For the last 20 years, my life experience has been rendered, of secondary importance, following a series of catastrophic personal choices.

I welcome all questions, comments or criticisms, enjoy my Blog!!!!

David